I’m a pretty angry person…

I’m a pretty angry person, but I’m coming to terms with it. At various points in life, I’ve staggered back and forth between trying half-assedly to control my rage reflex (rageflex for those of you looking to save time) and attempting to monetize my anger by getting sponsored in a co-ed bare-knuckle boxing league.

Here’s a little anecdote for ya:

When I finished the Lord of the Rings trilogy for the first time I full-on sobbed…for a while. Not because a bunch of characters died or whatever though. I was crying because the books centered on an idea that good and evil were not only easily differentiated characteristics, they were easily differentiated characters. I was crying because the world I lived in was filled with terrible things and terrible actions, perpetrated by people who ranged from soccer moms (using plastic bags for groceries) to investment bankers (breathing/talking) to dictators (…genocide and using plastic bags for groceries). This shit was fucked, and I was on to it.

I was 11.

So, it’s pretty clear I’m not destined for viewing the glass as simply half full or half empty, so much as half empty and poisoned because the CocaCola company is hijacking all the clean drinking water in developing nations.

Anyway, long story short, being negative is how I choose to think I contribute to the world. You’re welcome. Here’s another awesome thing about me: my strange affinity to consuming ‘calming’ media in a super-voyeuristic way (think watching yoga videos while sitting on the couch drinking a 40). I find the idea of working to become centered and peaceful almost as fascinating as I consider the process personally unappealing.

Current obsession: whispering relaxation.

This shit …is cuckoo-bananapants. And I love it! Everything about it is so deliciously creepy. Who are these people? Why don’t they check sound quality before they put their videos up on youtube? Is there money to be made off this? Can I have some of that money? Does all this whispering and role playing lead to a sexy surprise? (Answers: dunno, no idea, nope, no and never)

I think the audio material is supposed to lull you to sleep but I just watch these things at work when I’m bored. Creepy? Absolutely! But they like it creepy…and quiet.

Not sayin, just sayin,

Jenna.